Where is my mind?!
When you read this, it's likely on this webpage, but chances are high that you actually read it while sitting on a train, in a meeting, or at a table with friends. So, where are you truly?
It's also possible that you're in the midst of trying to distract yourself from an activity or avoiding something while reading this. Sounds familiar?
Numerous books, such as "Deep Work" by Cal Newport and "Atomic Habits" by James Clear, aim to educate us about focus and building new habits. They provide valuable insights into developing skills and the ability to excel in specific areas. By training ourselves and employing certain techniques, we can enhance our focus.
The core reason for not being fully present in the moment could be that we simply don't want to be here. But why do we resist being in the present moment or attempt to juggle multiple tasks simultaneously?
Gabor Maté offers an intriguing perspective on this through his research on addiction: we avoid being here because it feels uncomfortable. And let's be honest, who enjoys discomfort? Mate rightly questions the source of this discomfort and pain, and the answers can be deeply personal and profound. (Gabor Maté : “In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts”)
In our quest to understand where our minds wander, a pertinent question to ask is: what are they trying to escape from?
Moreover, the abundance of technology that promises to "save us time" bombards us with numerous inputs. A moment without stimulation can feel tedious, and we fear missing out on something. To avoid confronting what is truly there, we immerse ourselves in social media and engage in multitasking. This often makes us feel appreciated and seen by others, but we fail to truly see ourselves. In 2022, the average user spent over 2.5 hours on social media (Statista).
While social media has its benefits, it's worth exploring: if we are there, where are we not?
On the flipside of the outwardly-focused mind, we find the inwardly-focused mind, where the overthinkers reside. Immersed in constant analysis, we scrutinize our thoughts, judging them and even judging the act of judging itself (we can delve into quite a meta state here, as you can see). In this state, we turn inward, engaging in tense conversations with ourselves, often believing every thought to be an absolute truth. Whether we direct our focus intensely inward or outward, we find ourselves somewhere other than the present moment.
Do we need to take action?
Perhaps not, if you feel fulfilled and inspired. However, there is always value in exploring and getting to know ourselves better. If we're honest, we've probably told ourselves that we spend too much time online or ruminating or keep ourselves constantly busy, barely allowing time to breathe. As you read this, you might have even checked your screen time app to assess your usage. Now, blame games usually don’t make winners, but awareness opens the possibility of insight.
While I'm offline to be present in a different setting, I'd like to invite you to explore why your attention wanders and how it feels when you gently bring it back and stay present.
It would be somewhat ironic to recommend online resources and apps now to delve into this matter. I appreciate simplicity and practicality. So here we go:
The 5 minute
discovery
practice:
Spend just five minutes each day for the next seven days sitting alone and paying attention to what unfolds.
No music, no TV, just sitting with your eyes open or closed, once a day, focusing on your breath, and observing without judgment. Invite curiosity into this experience.
Try capturing the sensations that arise in a journal for later contemplation.
Ask yourself:
What thoughts surfaced in the practice?
How did my body feel?
How often did I feel compelled to do something else?
Enjoy this practice and use it to become better acquainted with yourself. Discover where your mind takes you. I am curious to hear what surfaced for you and invite you to share with me! If you want to explore more on this topic, schedule an appointment with me here
